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Idiots: August 2008 Archives

Lauren Caitlin Upton for Secretary of State

By John on August 30, 2008 10:33 AM | No Comments

Now that McCain has picked a beauty pageant contestant for his Vice President, and has lead us down a road to disaster, he might as well go whole hog with his choice for Secretary of State, the South Carolina contestant for Miss Teen USA 2007:

Dana Quayle

By John on August 30, 2008 9:35 AM | No Comments

Wow. Could McCain have pandered to angry HIllary voters any better? Listen up PUMAs! Abandon your policy stances and vote for a women diametrically opposed to anything you believe in. Come on!

And talk about your lack of experience argument. Face it. McCain is 72 now. The likelihood of him kicking the bucket is not small. We'll be stuck with the second coming of Dan Quayle as president. As incompetent as Bush is, holy crap!

And I'm sure Sarah Palin is a fine person. You know, except for the scandal she's wrapped up firing her ex-brother-in-law and all. And since half of Alaska's GOP is involved in a oil company bribe scandal, she's probably involved in that somehow too.

Hell, I don't even like her voice. But that's just me being petty.

Ned being petty comes as giving her the moniker VPILF. Work it out. He still won't vote for the Fester/Marilyn ticket.

You know what though? I REALLY feel bad for the wholly bigoted, racist Republicans. They make - what? - a good solid 10% of GOP voters? They were fine not voting for the black guy, that's an easy pick for those crackers. But now they might have to vote for a woman!? Oh crap, what WILL they do?

The other person I would feel bad for if she wasn't a cyborg drone is Cindy McCain. She went from being "Ace" McCain's fuck buddy on the side to Mrs. McCain, while dumping the once-beautiful-but-injured Mrs. McCain Number One to the curb. Now, Johnny Boy has younger flesh again. What WILL he do? What WILL the robot do?

This Week in Cruella de Vil

By John on August 18, 2008 11:42 PM | No Comments

So, Cindy McCain "injures her wrist" so she doesn't have to shake hands with all those nasty poor people. You'd almost feel bad for her, except that she's a cast iron bitch. But don't take my word for it, I got it third hand from Ray, who is friends with some folks who had to deal with the vile viper for a summer.

It must be hard to be a lonely beer heiress.

But wait! Turns out she isn't an only child. She has a half-sister who was cut out of Daddy's will and cast aside by the family.

So, in case you're keeping score, John McCain cheated on his wife with many, MANY women, and eventually divorced her to marry the richest of the "trollops", which is the robotic/alien presence with the arm sling on.

Now, Mrs. McCain II has been hiding a member of the family because they are inconvenient to her.

NOW THAT'S FAMILY VALUES FOLKS!!!

He couldn't Google a clue if he had to

By John on August 15, 2008 10:47 AM | No Comments
"She even does my boarding passes -- people can do that now," Mr. McCain marveled. "When we go to the movies, she gets the tickets ahead of time. It's incredible."

- McCain, on how his wife is an internet "wizard"

Frankly, quotes from McCain on the topic of technology, like that above found in this article, scare the living hell out of me.

Yeah, I know, people make fun of Bush's "the google" and "internets" and Ted Steven's "tubes". Except for one thing: it isn't funny. These assholes have been good for telecom companies and in giving WAY too much protection for copyright. These same assholes are all about spying and taking away our privacy, and our freedom. So, yes, John McCain is just another in a long line of Republican douchebags who "don't get it" and never will. And that is BAD for America. Joke's over folks. Get these kinds of backward 19th century idiots out of power. Please.

Look, McCain is damn near a Luddite. He depends on his wife and campaign manager to pull up websites for him. He doesn't truly have a concept of what Googling something means. He doesn't email. He doesn't even know what his OWN website offers. Or doesn't. He is "learning to get online". He's a United States Senator for god's sake.

He isn't an old pensioner who has never had access to a computer; he's married into HUNDREDS of MILLIONS of dollars. He's got the funds, he's one of 100 elite politicians, his hands aren't broken, and he can't figure out how to load a webpage?

I've had a f*ckin' Yahoo account since AT LEAST 1997, maybe 1996. And that doesn't count all the vi crap I did at the U of I. Granted, I work in the field but seriously folks, how long have you had email and text messaging and so on?

Anyway, I find it ridiculous to believe this guy is trying to interview to LEAD us. He was wrong on the war. He doesn't understand technology. He is suddenly pandering to Talibangelicals and Big Oil. He wants to start ANOTHER war. And, for all the crap John Edwards is, rightfully, getting for cheating on his wife: McCain did the SAME DAMN THING! Except, he married HIS "trollop" and ditched his wife.

"This isn't just about physical age; it's about a candidate who seems more comfortable in the past, and lacks a vision for the future."

Mother Jones covers McCain's inability to operate a computer as well as a comparison of his and Obama's technology policy goals.

LifeHacker asked folks if they felt our new president should be tech savvy. The survey results and accompanying comments show how much conservatives are apologists for idiot politicians.

ThinkProgress, as well as Salon, and the New York Times interview many of them refer to.

And of course, McCain apologists Michael Powell (failed FCC Chairman) and Carly Fiorina (Failed Hewlett-Packard CEO) try to swear that he gets it. Hell, THEY don't get it and they are advising HIM.

Good luck with that.

BONUS: Still think McCain is smart? Witty? A friend to women? Read these McCain quotes and discover how much of a willing tool you really are. Idiot.

Bet he votes for McSame anyway

By John on August 15, 2008 7:36 AM | No Comments
"Because if you can't keep your faith to your most sacred vow - ''til death do us part' -- how in the world can I trust you to lead my family? My government? My nation?...Absolutely I would."

- Warren, setting up the Talibangelical hypocrisy bar for this year

Pastor Rick Warren says he could never vote for an adulterer. He was speaking in relation to John Edwards, but let's focus this on John McCain, the guy who cheated on his first wife with many women, pissed off his friends, and then married the richest trollop of his stable.

I just bet the Talibangelicals will be rushing to his side soon and damn the torpedoes. They voted for divorcee Reagan and for addict Bush, why wouldn't they be lying, dirty hypocrites and back a philandering warmonger instead of a guy with what seems to be a good marriage with fine children?

You'd think that just once these fools would be ashamed of themselves.

Putting the Freak in Jesus Freak

By John on August 5, 2008 8:35 AM | No Comments
"Wow - this is too weird. The number of planes in the ad are exactly the same number of planes McCain crashed before his final crash that resulted in his being a POW. Do you think they planned that or was it simply a badly presented mistake?"


- Danigirl65, HuffPo commenter

Check THAT out. And McCain says Obama is cocky. Yeah, McCain, when he's not pushing all the racist buttons he can, is also making sure he can be appealing enough for evangelicals to vote for his war-mongering ass. I mean, all he really has to do is get the white sheeting-wearing Southern Baptists motivated to pull the lever for his wishy-washy self to counter the black vote and he does well in the South.

"Don't hope for a better tomorrow"


- McCain attack ad run here in Nevada and other places

And now, McCain is mocking Obama for being an inspirational force for good. Really? Hope is a BAD thing now? And the Talibangelicals have taken to calling Obama the Anti-Christ for knowing the Bible and wanting to perform good works for all Americans.

There are probably a million arguments as to why George Bush makes a far better Anti-Christ than Obama. Torture, warmongering, hate and bigotry, assaults on the Earth and civil rights abuses against gays, women, minorities, and well, any American with a phone.

Oh yeah, theocon Catholics consider Obama guilty of "infanticide" for supporting abortion rights. Wow, what pricks.

No wonder I don't go to church anymore.

We Hate Everyone

By John on August 1, 2008 3:32 PM | No Comments

Had some technical account difficulties over the weekend. Adding this is as the Friday entry I meant to make.

You almost want to feel bad for the folks at the Wall Street Journal.

First off, they feel - and I agree with them on at least this - that John McCain is an idiot. Primarily, he's running an idiotic flip-flopping campaign based on anger instead of issues. Go figure.

Meanwhile, the same paper thinks Obama is too thin to be president.

WHAT?

First off, the Rethugs thinks he's not Christian enough. And then too Christian. Or maybe a closet Muslim. Oh wait! He's a terrorist or a mob member. Or a Purplesaurus Rex. Who the hell knows what these morons come up with?

Now? He's too thin. What is this: America's Next Top Model? Only an unfit fatass can be president? Hell, what are Butterbean's political leanings. HE can surely represent the lardasses.

But in the end, McCain is still the Chief Asshat here. When called on his not-so-oblique mentions that Obama is "different", he now blames Obama for playing the race card. I call "Bullshit" on this one.

McCain is getting help from Wal-Mart, which is pretty much illegally telling it's managers and supervisors not to vote for any Democrats. Seriously, do ANY of these conservatives think they are working to better America? Do they really think acting like the KGB is the way to do that?

Hell, I don't even care if it's in context. I just love this pic.

Bob Cesca laughs at the McCain lie that the media is pro-Obama. Which REALLY is bizarre considering FAUXNews and CBS are ENTIRELY loving and stroking McCain's bunghole, ABC is too scared to be partisan, CNN is too busy hiring conservatives, and MSNBC *might* have one or two shows that even deign to say Obama is the better candidate. And even they present both sides of a story. Hardly partisan news.

The Washington Post is misquoting Obama. No, that's not bias for a candidate. Neither are any of the quotes in the video found here.

If the GOP had their way, McCain would be president solely because he was a POW once. Granted, he's in love with torture and wants to refuse benefits for our troops NOW, but the GOP doesn't want you to remember any of THAT.

Hell, Bush can't even say Obama's name. THAT is how biased, rigged, brazen, and slanted this election season has become. Also, most likely, it also says a lot about how scared the Republican'ts are about losing their tight-fisted grip on the throat of democracy.

I hope they lose. They need to. If, for nothing else, to save our democracy.

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